1 week in....

Take two! I'm back! With a new blog, a fresh feel... and a shitload of poundage to lose!

Current weight: (ugh... do I have to say?) Alright, fucking FINE. 199 lbs.

Goal weight? 145. But I'm realistic. It'll probably never happen. So a fair compromise is 155.
Why is my site the skinny sex robot? Well, my friends will understand. And laugh.

How am I doing it? Reducing calories to 1200 a day. Trying to exercise, but hard to find the time. That is the minimal I will go. I'm pathetic... I use prepackaged everything with the calories already on them to count. Fuck trying to figure out what 1/2 a pound of chicken breast is. Lean Cuisine, Fiber one bars, and anything else that's low calorie and quick to eat. I'm still an avid diet pepsi whore for my previous readers. I refuse to give that up at all cost, and might become homicidal if told to. I'm eating every 3 hours on the dot, ooops, it's time again, 2:58... let me grab some of that oh so yummy fat free blueberry yogurt. GAG. I try not to eat after 8pm, but I'm up late at times... it's hard. But at least a 90 calorie Special K bar gets me thru if I need to. I type my calories into my computer's notepad, and keep track all day. If I need to leave the house? I grab a couple snacks, apple, whatever.

Why am I doing this publicly? To SHAME myself. Plain and fucking simple. My fat ass has been too fat for too long, and I long for those size 10 jeans I used to wear. I long for the sexier clothes, instead of my raggy old navy sweatpants and size XL shirts I wear to hide my bodaciously unappealing bod. My tits sag, BADLY. I feel like, when I bend over, I have two flesh colored bowling pins hanging off my body, banging eachother back and forth like pendulums. TICK.... TOCK..... and the backs of my legs and ass look like I've been assaulted with a bag of nickels.

I swear, I can't make this stuff up. It's who I am, not who I want to be.

I guess, to put it in one word: CHANGE. Oh, yeah, and because in about 11 weeks, I'm going to be at a BBQ with a shit ton of army guys and I don't want to feel ugly. I want to feel attractive... like I used to :( I also want to actually enter my swimming pool without sweatpants and a black tank top on to cover my latest guilty indulgence into cheesecake insanity. I know I can do it... but I might just kill my husband in the process. He's a dick with no concept of how hard this is, and doesn't think twice before eating anything and everything in sight to mock my pains.

I want to lose 3 pds a week until I get to the BBQ.

Not going to be easy. My goals are as follows:

By May 14th- 196

By May 28th- 190

June 11th- 184

June 25th- 178

July 9th- 172

THEN THE BBQ. Sigh. I hope I don't plateau, that's a bitch.

After this? I'll set a new goal plan. I usually lose weight quickly in the beginning, then around low 170's I plateau. Then I can recalculate a new goal from there.

I like these apple cider vinegar pills with green tea; I can't say they actually HELP me lose weight, but they remind me to drink water. I fucking HATE water. HATE IT. Unless I can swim in it, I don't WANT it. These pills have always helped, so I'm hoping they help again.

Who's with me!?? (crickets chirping)

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No one wants to diet with me?

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*TAP*TAP*TAP* is this thing ON?!

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Well. Pffft. Fuck you ALL.

I WANNA BE A SKINNY SEX ROBOT!

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF