Well, I'm at the beginning of week 6. My weight loss? 32 pounds! Yes! 5.5 pds a week! I'm still in fasting mode, which was started 9/16. It was fairly easy to enter, as I wasn't consuming much food anyway before I began it. The first time I water fasted, I had light headedness, dizziness, cravings, the works. Felt exhausted and horrible. This time around, I prepared for it- reduced my intake during my intermittent fasting. Although I feel a bit fatigued, I feel so much better than I have in a super long time. I'm going to do this for as long as I can. My goal weight is 160, and if I can reach that before the Gala, HOLY SHITBALLS. That's 4.7 pds/week! I keep telling myself I can do this! Chances are, I can't. I'm not superhuman, and this is, after all, a life long change I'm trying to make. So, I'm shooting for 170-175. Using the 175 number, that is a little over 3 pds a week. If I can manage to do this fast for 40 days, I'd love it. I should lose about 1 pd a day, which would bring me to October 19th. At that point, I should have lost approximately 40 pds. That is 177! And that still leaves me WELL over a month to lose another 15 pds. I've really started to change my ideas about food. I don't stare into my kitchen cabinets going "Man, I'm hungry, but what do I want?" or drive into Herkimer and drool at the fast food places. Seriously, I don't even remember the taste of much of it now. It's a wonderful change, but tough at times. Certain memories of food come haunting back when I have to cook dinner every night. That can be a bit of a struggle. I keep telling myself "It smells wonderful, but you AREN'T HUNGRY. It's deceiving you. Don't give in!" I'm not infallible either. I still have a few cups of coffee in the morning, and a glass of diet pepsi every night, and I will spoon a TINY bit of sauce out to taste. I'm not serving my family food that I haven't approved of LOL. I am lucky if I've digested in these 8 days maybe 150 calories. So I guess I'm not "true" water fasting. But it works for me. And that is all that really matters. I'm not going to fret over the small stuff- a bit of spaghetti sauce to taste is nothing compared to the huge bowl I would of eaten! I will post pictures soon. If I can at least hold out for 2 weeks on this fast, it will be even better. I will be below 200 at that point, and more comfortable with photos ;)

Complete Fasting State Now!

I am now exclusively on good ole' H2O now- 2 days strong! I haven't weighed myself, as my progress was slowed. This is the reason I decided to go to full fasting state instead of intermittent- I wasn't hardly eating anyway, I was lucky if I ate 250 calories a day. So just going with water seemed the right choice, to get my body into full ketosis, and watch the weight fall off! I refuse to give up my cups of coffee in the morning and my diet pepsi, but I am drinking a bunch more water so I'm hoping it doesn't interfere.

I will say at last weigh-in I was 214. This was also the middle of the day, and probably ingested 20-30 oz of water within that hour. (My stomach hurt, the hunger pains are helped with water)

I am hoping that I will be 210 by Sat-Sun. If so, I'll take a picture of the scale!

Thanks. I know that no one reads this shit, but it does help me.

3 week check-in...

Well, I'm 3 weeks into this as of today. I've been intermittent fasting, low carb, with a few days I took off here and there. So far, drumroll please... Almost 20 pds! So it's working ;) I have 11+ more weeks of this... if I can keep just 4 pds a week coming off, I'll be smokin' hot again!

Well, I'm back at it again folks!

Well, here I am. Again. A year later, and much heavier. Booooo. I have a Gala I need to make an appearance at in December, along with meeting a very hot and awesome actor as well. So my weight loss will be extreme. How extreme? Try 40 pds at the minimum. I have 102 days, or 14.5 weeks to accomplish this... and I know I can do it. How do I know? I've done it before. I went from 196ish back in early May 2006 down to 170 by late July/early August. That was 2-1/2 months, and 25 pds. I didn't exercise, I just did the low calorie diet. By September, I was in the 160's, so 30 pds in 3 months. I'm not doing that diet. I'm going a bit more extreme. Going back to my fasting, drinking water, and I'm going to try to get out and exercise a bit once the kids go back to school. What do I weigh right now? Grrr, I don't really want to say. But this is a public shame spot, and keeps me in line, so I begrudgingly will. 234. That's right, folks. 234 pds. Sad what kids and age do to you. So, i'm going to get back into my mode... I've spent the last few days doing so, and I have to say, it hasn't been as bad as I thought. Only time will tell though. I'm still breastfeeding and trying to break my psychological bond with it, but it's tough. I love feeding my little peanut, but I don't want her to not get what she needs because of my lack of calories. So I'm just going to wean slowly. She's a trooper, loves the boob but will take a bottle as well. It's just my attachment at this point. She's the last baby I'll ever have... it's breaking my heart knowing I won't be doing this again :( Wish me luck, fuckers!

Well, Blogger is being a little BITCH to me, so I hope this works.

Had a whole new list of goals, and I've been TRYING to fucking publish it since the 4th of June, but helllllllllll no. Blogger apparently hates me. And I can't cut and paste my saved post to this one. So let's just make this short and sweet, eh? My goal is to be 176 by July 9th, as well as into a size 12-14 by then. Still fasting on certain days... and I'll take a picture of my progress on my Wii fitness tonight with the scale. It's a lot easier to take that photo, because the scale number doesn't disappear like my bathroom scale does! They are practically identical, within a 1/2 a pound. Here it is, June 14th... and I'm about 190ish I believe. Might be less, who the hell knows anymore. But that 14 pds in 4 weeks, or about 3.5 pds a week. If I don't make the goal? Who the fuck cares, I tried. I don't know, I might overcompensate at this party I'm going to by wearing high heels to gain 2-3 inches and wear vertical stripes. Would that make me look thinner? Maybe if I get an awesome pushup bra and show shitloads of titty cleavage they'll ignore my huge ass and penchant for buggary.

Sigh. If it were only THAT easy.

Moving forward... by the end of August, I hope to be 160. That's only 16 pds (hopefully) from July 9th, so almost 2 months to lose 16 pds. That is 2 pds a week. Wish my black scale was more accurate, the OLD one. It says I'm below 185. That would be SA-WEEEEEEET! Alas, 'tis not to be.

Low carb diet/intermittent fasting is going well. Finding lots of great recipes! Trying to keep busy of course, burn calories when I can. I can't complain... I've lost 25 pds so far, I think it's been about 2 months? Maybe less, I can't fucking recall anymore. Check for yourselves. But hey, progress is progress, right? I've lost the most on this low-carb/intermittent fasting portion. I think it's been 1 month, and 17 pds lost. Something like that.

I think the best part of this diet is... it isn't all that bad. Really. I can eat when I'm hungry, I just have to be very choosey. I'm not as hungry, some days I don't even want to eat until about 5pm at night! I got me some low carb cheesecake, low carb pizza... I've done more experimenting with cooking than I have in YEARS. And the results are pretty good, definitely edible and filling. What's nice, is that just a few months ago, I would of eaten every last bite of what I made that NIGHT. That hour. That MINUTE. Yeah, I was a hogger. Now, I have a cheesecake AND pizza in the fridge from last night, and although tastey... don't want it! It's nice to be able to put your diet at the forefront of your mind and be able to refuse.

I feel much better, too. That is a nice change... pants I couldn't wear a few months ago are already hanging off of me, bras are starting to fit again, I'm able to get on top of my husband while we have sex... too much info? haha, now try to get my fat ass speckled with lard and dented with nickel shapes out of your mind tonight! It'll make you puke...!

Hey! I just started your diet FOR you! Chapter 1... how not to eat. Please view naked picture of Heather, and proceed to nearest bathroom. Puke for hours on end, and when you are hungry... repeat steps.

VOILA! I AM A GENIUS!

Post Walkathon :)

Alright... well, I'm tired today. I won't lie. Tonya and I got about 2 hours of sleep before jumping into my van at 2AM and driving 5 hours to the Philadelphia walkathon for Angelman Syndrome. It was a WONDERFUL ride, hardly any traffic, and the walkathon was great! I just wish I had more energy AFTER the 3.1 mile walk to enjoy it! I wore flip flops, jeans, a long sleeved t-shirt with the Angelman t-shirt over it and boy, WAS I FUCKING HOT. And not the "hot" sexy type. The "hot" as in, HOLY SHIT I'M ON FIRE. Pouring sweat off my forehead! What a workout pushing Andrea in the stroller! Luckily, Tonya took over at least 1/2 the walk with pushing... I don't know what I would have done without her! :) Since now that I'm in ketosis (it has been confirmed!) I'm doing the atkins. After the walk, I felt exhausted and I knew my body was telling me to eat. So I ate a hot dog! Still Atkins safe ;)

Well, I got home last night, and jumped on the scale- 198.8! YIPPEEEEE! I fell below 200!!

No, it gets BETTER. Here it is, Sunday... and look at the scale NOW!

197.2 at 2pm! :)
it's WORKING!!

I didn't make my May 14th goal of 196, sadly. But that goal was based on starting at 205/6! I had to readjust EVERYTHING as soon as the new scale came in, and broke my heart :(

BUT do not fret! I am currently very thrilled with this progress. I started out at 215, and it has been 19 days, and I've had almost 18 pounds lost! On Tuesday, before I started my fast, I was 206.8, and 5 days later, I am 197.2. That is almost 2 pds a DAY. And it's not just water weight; I am seeing a difference in the way my clothes fit!

So yes... I might not meet my 170 goal. But progress is progress, and I am happy my body found a way that it likes to lose weight without myself feeling too deprived. No real counting calories, just following atkins :)

and... I still have 7 MORE WEEKS OF THIS! I'm hoping to meet my original goal, if not surpass it!

ONWARD HO!

Day 3 of fasting COMPLETED

Okay, folks!! I DID IT!! I have officially finished my 3 day fast. Now, I would LOVE to continue to finish a seven day, but it's hard to function with my body lacking carbs right now. So I've done a bit more researching, and decided to do what is called "Intermittent fasting". Basically, I'm going to try a schedule of 1 day eating, 1 day fasting. The days I eat will follow the Atkin's diet rules, so I'll stay in this low carb, fat burning mode even on the days I eat. I'm going to pick up the Ketosis test strips to see if i'm in that stage yet (ketosis: when your body doesn't have enough glucogen in reserves to keep up energy, and turns to your fat reserves for its nutrition.)

But, here's a picture of the scale this morning!

When I first woke up, it read 200.8 but when I went back in 15 minutes later it said 201 LOL. So I could only get a picture of the 201! But hell, I'll take it!

Today's schedule? Pick up the ketosis test strips; if I'm not in ketosis yet, I will fast another day longer and then pursue the atkins diet. Get ready to go to my daughter's Angelman Walkathon with Tonya :) Burn some more calories tomorrow doing the walk!

My diet started May 3rd. I'm not exactly sure WHAT my true weight was when I started this! I'm going to say 215'ish. This puts my weight loss total since the start of my diet to:
14-15 POUNDS! In 16-17 days!

Almost turns out to be a pound a day, and if I'm really off again, it probably IS a pound a day!

MOTIVATION! Now onto my intermittent fasting schedule!

HOLY CRAP!!

Everyone, I am NOT even joking about this. This morning I took a picture of myself in my summer swim trunks and tank tops (NSFW or the faint at heart, by the way) and they were HORRIFIC. Anyway, remove that god awful image from your minds. I also took a picture of my scale. I moved it to 3 different places to ensure it's accuracy, and it came back with the same weight. This was taken 10am this morning. Here- Enjoy my pain.

206.8 (tears rolling down my face)

This evening, for shits and giggles, I decided to weigh myself again. NOW, anyone that has dieted or done anything like this, realizes that you actually put ON weight during the day, and it never helps to weigh yourself except in the morning. At least, that was always MY problem. Well, this is what I saw:

204 BITCHES!!

I've NEVER lost weight during the day like this. I moved it 500 different spots in my bathroom, and a couple of the readings came up 203.8! But I will stick with 204 LOL! I know a lot could just be water weight, but I've never had a swing SO HUGE as 3 pds within 10 hours!

I know I have a far ways to go, but man... this is SATISFACTION in the making!

A new dawn, a new day

Now, for all my friends on here, I want to broach a subject that not many agree with. If you don't agree, that's awesome! Just no haters!

I have been researching water fasting. Yes, when you basically live on water and let your body consume it's fat sources. It has great health benefits, as well as the lovely side effect of weight loss.

I had a shocking, and life altering moment yesterday. I knew my scale was off, so I bought a new one. I figured, why diet if I can't even see the proper progress? So I buy one. I weigh myself on my old one, 198. I weigh myself on the new one? 207! YES! My scale was off by 9 FUCKING POUNDS. Well, after a terrific breakdown and sobfest, I realized that I started out actually at 213. And I HAD IT. 2 weeks, and I feel like nothing's happened. I feel resigned. Then, I felt... EMPOWERED. I felt like there was something out there, for me, that I had to try. That special area no one likes to think about... fasting. Not starvation, but fasting.

Basically, people believe that fasting IS starvation. But it's not. Years upon millions of years, our bodies as humans developed that lovely side effect of holding onto those extra calories we now know as FAT. Our bodies just never knew when food would become unavailable! So, we'd hold onto these fat reserves, until a period of food drought appeared. And miraculously, thru evolution, we could survive LONG periods of famine, right off of our fat reserves! With proper hydration, our bodies under the right conditions, could go 100 days or longer without food! Your body at first will reach into your liver for glycogen (sugar, like from starch) and after a day, when that has depleted, it'll go to the only source left: fat. Now, many say it attacks your muscles. But keeping up at least the normal exercise routine you use (light exercise) that will not happen. Your muscles will be one of the last sources, during starvation...

When you starve yourself, it is when you have depleted your fat stores and your body can no longer function without food. You WILL die. When you fast, you use your body's fat stores to create energy, to cleanse yourself from toxins built within the fat, and many other health benefits like lower blood pressure.

Well, ladies... I'm going to do it! I am going to start fasting. Water, water and more water with a side of water. I'm sick of food, I don't even want to look at it. There comes a time when I say it's ENOUGH.

Today is my first day. I started 9am this morning. I have been drinking water nonstop! I have hunger pains, nothing too extreme that I can't handle yet. I know the worst is to come. I will do 7 days if I can make it, but anything beyond 3 is a plus! After 7 days, I will ease myself back into eating with watermelon and easy, nutritious, foods. Then, after 3 days of food, I will continue the fast another 7 days.

This is scary to some, and downright dangerous to others. But if you need validation, I can cite many MANY health articles, including the New England Journal of Medicine, that actually say fasting is very good for you, and that they condone it. Your body is not meant to have all this extra fat on it. Some, yes. But I'm considered very obese at this weight. More so than I care to admit. But something yesterday really opened my eyes when I saw that scale, and realized how far I have to go, and the power food has over me.

I'd like this fasting to be almost a divorce from food. I want to show food that it doesn't hold power over me! I DON'T NEED YOUR SHIT, FOOD. My body is capable of this. My body is capable of not loving you anymore. I've broken bad habits for the last two weeks- eating in the middle of the night, cutting back, and I've even learned that water isn't so bad. Water is your friend.

Water, is what is going to get me thru this. So please, if you think this is bad, don't continue to follow this blog. I love you all, and I would understand if it's too much. Just no haters! I feel confident this will work. I will be updating my side effects, right now being just tired and "not with it". It hasn't even been that long! But I KNOW, I KNOW, I need to kick food in the ass and stop realizing what a crutch it is.

Good bye, food. Hello to my health and willpower! I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!

Water sucks ass, the scale is scary, and dancing is FUN!

Water is gross to me. Not sure why... I'll swim in it, dance in the rain, I love the feeling of it... but to drink it!? GROSS! But I am, ladies and more ladies... I gots me a water bottle, and I'm drinking more water than I have in years. I slowly feel my kidneys screaming in relief.

I would love to tell you what my weight is, but every time I walk into the bathroom... I feel like I'm in a horror film, and I am avoiding the scale at all costs. I'm afraid I'm going to step on it, and turn homicidal. Blood and gore everywhere, total slasher hell. I hear that awful horror flick music in the bathroom, even when I take a piss! So no, not today folks. Maybe when my period is over...

Onto my exercise regimen. Dancing to Pink LMFAO. Hey, it's a start, right? I broke a sweat last night! I go nuts to the tune "Funhouse"... maybe tonight I'll actually do an exercise regimen!

Not.

Aunt Flo! I missed you!

Period has FINALLY arrived. Looking forward to a scale that is truthful and loving in about 3-4 days.... And if it isn't? I'm throwing the bitch out into the burn pit and scorching it in a ritual weight loss sacrifice. Then i'll pull it's charred remains out of the fire, stab them with a kitchen knife, then throw them into a burlap bag and toss them off a bridge.

Oh Yes. Yes I will.

Telegram to my period...

Period due any day now. Stop.

Bloating has set in. Stop.

Water retention is at an all time high. Stop.

Scale is not cooperating. Stop.

S.O.S! Stop.

I WANT MY PERIOD. Stop.

FUCK YOU SCALE! Stop.

I really need to. Stop. Eating.

BEST FUCKING NEW SNACK EVER.

BULLETIN: BREAKING UP A BLUEBERRY SPECIAL K BAR (90 calories) INTO A FAT FREE BLUEBERRY YOGURT (90 calories) IS FUCKING DIVINE.

end transmission.

May 10th, 2011

8 days in. My stomach has finally adjusted to the new food intake, no more of those stabbing hunger pains. I feel so bad for those starving Namibian kids in Africa. MAN. That shits hard to live with. I've been getting upper backaches too with all of this, that seem to correlate to the hunger pains. WTF is up with that? I have some funkadelic body, intent on sending shocking pains and exhaustion into my abdomen. All the while, my body doesn't realize I'm trying to HELP. I can positively say though, that I'm mostly comfortable right now, and in a good place when it comes to food. I'm able to resist, think twice, and even say I DON'T WANT THAT. My mindset is changing to the diet, which is great. That's what helped me lose so much weight years ago!

Anyway, stepped on the scale this morning... more progress! 198! FUCKIN' A! Two more pounds until Saturday. Can I get a HELL YEAH?!

1.9.8.

1 week in....

Take two! I'm back! With a new blog, a fresh feel... and a shitload of poundage to lose!

Current weight: (ugh... do I have to say?) Alright, fucking FINE. 199 lbs.

Goal weight? 145. But I'm realistic. It'll probably never happen. So a fair compromise is 155.
Why is my site the skinny sex robot? Well, my friends will understand. And laugh.

How am I doing it? Reducing calories to 1200 a day. Trying to exercise, but hard to find the time. That is the minimal I will go. I'm pathetic... I use prepackaged everything with the calories already on them to count. Fuck trying to figure out what 1/2 a pound of chicken breast is. Lean Cuisine, Fiber one bars, and anything else that's low calorie and quick to eat. I'm still an avid diet pepsi whore for my previous readers. I refuse to give that up at all cost, and might become homicidal if told to. I'm eating every 3 hours on the dot, ooops, it's time again, 2:58... let me grab some of that oh so yummy fat free blueberry yogurt. GAG. I try not to eat after 8pm, but I'm up late at times... it's hard. But at least a 90 calorie Special K bar gets me thru if I need to. I type my calories into my computer's notepad, and keep track all day. If I need to leave the house? I grab a couple snacks, apple, whatever.

Why am I doing this publicly? To SHAME myself. Plain and fucking simple. My fat ass has been too fat for too long, and I long for those size 10 jeans I used to wear. I long for the sexier clothes, instead of my raggy old navy sweatpants and size XL shirts I wear to hide my bodaciously unappealing bod. My tits sag, BADLY. I feel like, when I bend over, I have two flesh colored bowling pins hanging off my body, banging eachother back and forth like pendulums. TICK.... TOCK..... and the backs of my legs and ass look like I've been assaulted with a bag of nickels.

I swear, I can't make this stuff up. It's who I am, not who I want to be.

I guess, to put it in one word: CHANGE. Oh, yeah, and because in about 11 weeks, I'm going to be at a BBQ with a shit ton of army guys and I don't want to feel ugly. I want to feel attractive... like I used to :( I also want to actually enter my swimming pool without sweatpants and a black tank top on to cover my latest guilty indulgence into cheesecake insanity. I know I can do it... but I might just kill my husband in the process. He's a dick with no concept of how hard this is, and doesn't think twice before eating anything and everything in sight to mock my pains.

I want to lose 3 pds a week until I get to the BBQ.

Not going to be easy. My goals are as follows:

By May 14th- 196

By May 28th- 190

June 11th- 184

June 25th- 178

July 9th- 172

THEN THE BBQ. Sigh. I hope I don't plateau, that's a bitch.

After this? I'll set a new goal plan. I usually lose weight quickly in the beginning, then around low 170's I plateau. Then I can recalculate a new goal from there.

I like these apple cider vinegar pills with green tea; I can't say they actually HELP me lose weight, but they remind me to drink water. I fucking HATE water. HATE IT. Unless I can swim in it, I don't WANT it. These pills have always helped, so I'm hoping they help again.

Who's with me!?? (crickets chirping)

...................

No one wants to diet with me?

............................

*TAP*TAP*TAP* is this thing ON?!

...............................................

Well. Pffft. Fuck you ALL.

I WANNA BE A SKINNY SEX ROBOT!

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF